People with high
self-esteem are the most desired, and desirable people in society
When
we love ourselves, it helps us feel our best, and when we feel our best, we can
give more to the world.
Self-esteem
comes from positive self-imaging, and it is something that we proactively build
for ourselves
“Nobody can go back
and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today And make a new ending.”
I was talking with a friend this weekend who is
suffering from low self-esteem.
After
hearing the way this lovely young man was talking about himself, so blind to
his own intelligence, and talents, I blurted out, “You must begin to love
yourself. You have so much to offer.”
I’m
on a mission to empower people to spend their lives focused on their purpose,
priorities, and passions, and to get rid of the junk that gets in the way of
living the life of their dreams. Part of living the life you dream of is
practicing self-love.
When
we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our
weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our
short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find
personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect
living fulfillment through our own efforts.
It
influences how high you set your goals, how you let others treat you, and how
you react to difficult situations. Self-love affects how you treat your body,
how you manage stress, and your ability to live consistently with your
values.
I’ve
learned that the way we view ourselves directly affects everything we do.
People with high self-esteem get along easily with others, rarely get sick, and
seem to have high energy reserves. Also, their high level of self-esteem
corresponds with their high level of productivity, capacity of happiness and
state of well-being.
Being kind to yourself in everyday life
is in in my experience one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Life will become lighter and your
relationships will most likely improve
Tips to Building Self-Esteem
In order to build your
self-esteem, you must establish yourself as the master of your own life. Every
single minute of your life is a moment you can change for the better.
If you’ve been delaying
some action for half the day, don’t dwell on it or beat yourself up for it,
shift your focus to the present moment and what you can do right now.
Start with the smallest or the most important task
The following are tips
to help build continuous upward momentum towards higher self-esteem.
1. Start Small
Start with something
you can do immediately and easily. When we start with small successes, we build
momentum to gain more confidence in our abilities. Each completed task,
regardless of how small, is a building block towards a more confident you. What
are some small actions you can take immediately to demonstrate that you are
capable of achieving goals you’ve set for yourself? For example, clean your
desk, organize your papers, or pay all your bills.
2. Create a Compelling Vision
Use the power of your imagination.
Create an image of yourself as the confident and self-assured person you aspire
to become. When you are this person, how will you feel? How will others
perceive you? What does your body language look like? How will you talk? See
these clearly in your mind’s eye, with your eyes closed. Feel the feelings,
experience being and seeing things from that person’s perspective. Practice
doing this for 10 minutes every morning. Put on music in the background that
either relaxes you, or excites you. When you are done, write a description of
this person and all the attributes you’ve observed.
3.Socialize
Get out of the house or
setup a lunch date with a friend. Socializing with others will give us
opportunities to connect with other people, and practice our communication and
interpersonal skills.
4.Do Something You Are Good At
What are you especially
good at or enjoy doing? Regularly doing things that you are good at reinforces
your belief in your abilities and strengths. I (Tina) can be very efficient
with completing errands or administrative work. Whenever I have a few hours
filled with ways in which I’ve maximized my time, I feel highly productive and
this boosts the confidence have in my abilities as an organized and efficient
person.
5. Set Goals
According to a study
done at Virginia Tech, 80% of Americans say they don’t have goals. And the
people who regularly write down their goals earn nine times as much over their
lifetime as people who don’t. By setting goals that are clear and actionable, you
have a clear target of where you want to be. When you take action towards that
goal, you’ll build more confidence and self-esteem in your abilities to follow
through.
6. Help Others Feel Good About Themselves
Help somebody or teach
them something. When you help other people feel better about themselves and
like themselves more, it will make you feel good about yourself. See what you
can do to make others feel good or trigger them to smile. Maybe giving them a
genuine compliment, helping them with something or telling them what you admire
about them.
7. Get Clarity on Life Areas
Get clarity on the life
area that needs the most attention. Your self-esteem is the average of your
self-concept in all the major areas of your life. Write down all the major categories
of your life, e.g., health, relationships, finance, etc. Then rate yourself on
a scale of 1-10 in each area. Work on the lowest numbered category first,
unless they are all even. Each area affects the other areas. The more you build
up each area of your life, the higher your overall self-esteem.
8. Create a Plan
Having a goal alone
won’t do much. Get clarity on your action items. One of the biggest reasons
people get lazy is because they don’t have a plan to achieve their goals. They
don’t know what the next step is and start to wander off randomly. When you’re
baking a cake, it’s a lot easier to follow a set of clear instructions, than
randomly throwing ingredients together.
9. Get Motivated
Read something
inspirational, listen to something empowering, talk to someone who can uplift
our spirits, who can motivate us to become a better person, to live more
consciously, and to take proactive steps towards creating a better life for
ourselves and our families.
10. Get External Compliments
As funny as this point
suggests, go find a friend or family member and ask them “What do you like
about me?” “What are my strengths?” or “What do you love about
me?” We will often value other people’s opinions more than our own. We are
the best at beating ourselves up for things not done well, and we are the worst
at recognizing what we’ve done well in. Hearing from another person our
strengths and positive qualities helps to build a more positive image of
ourselves.
11. Affirmations & Introspection
Use affirmations, but
in the right way. Some people think that when they’re in a slump, using
positive affirmations will help them get out of it. I love affirmations, but
I’ve realized you have to use them in the right way. Sitting on your couch and
saying “I am highly motivated and productive” does nothing. Say something like
“I am sitting here being very unproductive right now, is this the ideal me?
What would be my best self?” Your affirmations have to be the TRUTH. Once
you’re honest, take the first step towards doing the thing, no matter how small.
12. No More Comparisons
Stop comparing yourself
to other people. Low-self esteem stems from the feeling of being inferior. For
example, if you were the only person in the world, do you think you could have
low-self esteem? Self-esteem only comes into the picture when there are other
people around us and we perceive that we are inferior. Don’t worry about what
your neighbor is doing. Accept that it’ll serve you more to just go down your
own path at your own pace rather than to compare yourself. Pretend you’re
starting over and begin immediately with the smallest step forward.
Self-esteem comes from
self-dominion. The more power you have in getting yourself to take the right
actions, the more self-esteem you will have. Your level of self-esteem affects
your happiness and everything you do.
Persistence 
